Words Matter: Sexting

How do you connect when much of your world of playing without permission is online? This requires brand new vocabulary for me. Prior to this last year of exploration, I could barely use words around sex in either spoken or written form. Now I can write things that might make Howard Stern blush a little, but I don’t really.

I don’t express my verbal sexuality crassly. I would rather paint the scene as if dream or story. I would rather dance around the edges for a while, then slam right down the middle with direct words that matter. Seems like better foreplay to me.

This absolutely points to my being partnered with people who need words like mine and for whom words matter. This doesn’t just pertain to sexting of course, but absolutely permeates sexual content online for me.

My most intense connections online and in person are all exclusively related to high verbal game. I value creativity, nuance, and fucking salacious detail. My partners and I will detail all sorts of places in our fantasy worlds, we will write me things that we are still learning to say out loud, and we seek out lyrics so related and personal that it is hard to remember the songs were written and performed by another entity entirely. Words matter, and the word play is at the heart of eroticism.

Dear lovers,

Tell me intimately what is on your mind. Don’t be shy about your fantasies, kinks, and general sexuality. Help me feel comfortable with mine by hearing me too. Help me grow from the person who was ashamed to think about sex into the person that can openly advocate for my own sexual expression with you. Let me write you my details, and help me to whisper them directly to you. Hell, help me shout them with excitement! Let my everything be safe in your arms and in your ears. Your words matter, as do mine. And, most importantly, our joint dialogue is at the heart of all that we are.

With love and wet hot anticipation,


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