I learned about Kik from the very first chat contact I made on discreet dating platform for married people. He suggested we conduct all of our get-to-know-you business on Kik. I made profile, and he proceeded to send a dick pic without any get-to-know-you-things. I then used my kik handle in messages suggesting that if interested, dudes may use that as a way to see if we gel without spending dude dollars. Most platforms of that nature are not free for men, but women are encouraged to participate boundary free.

I was on Kik for months before I learned that there were GROUPS. You can find an interest group or just about anything, but make no mistake, there is a sexual undercurrent to everything on Kik. One Kik friend taught me about Kik groups – enlightening me that there were married flirting groups, and Kik coupling, and people get super pissed about flirting conduct online. Sounded much like middle school, but when bored and mildly curious, I joined a bunch of groups.

The first group I joined was a Polyamorous Lesbian group. I quickly learned that the general population on Kik is not focused much on intelligent conversation…or complete sentences…or punctuation…or…

I searched groups on art, music, BDSM, local chat rooms based on enjoying dancing or outdoor fun. Almost all were highly sexualized, and the vast majority were administrated like the wild west – no sheriff in sight. I got yelled at, harassed, and dick pics galore. I watched rooms give out scores based on the hotness of pictures shared. I saw rooms pair off and then split up with one or both of the pair leaving room in a drama filled puff of smoke.

I have locked myself out of my profile more than once, and then recently, my profile got banned for no reason and I lost all of my contacts.

This is how I imagine some ghosting happens. Everything is fine, but then the Kik profile gets fucked, and contacts go poof too. I have a few contacts that I only have through Kik, and those are gone now. Most of my valued contacts have multiple contact points: email, phone number, another messaging platform, or telepathy connection. Losing a profile and the history within makes it evident what fragility there is in having one mode of communication.

Those people with whom I had a connection once, and who I like to know that they are doing well and are happy…they might now think that I have ghosted them. I don’t really wish to lose them, but likely have lost all the same:

  • Goodbye, Cupcake. He had the BEST stories. He is one that I met only once, kissed only once, and then spent endless hours laughing over bullshit insanity. Cupcake taught me about Kik groups, and so I give him credit for my finding my love.
  • Goodbye, Lawyer. He was a former lover, and while he knows where to find me, he would likely reach out on Kik and look no further. He worked too hard to remain connected anyway, and frankly, he didn’t really want me in the end.
  • Goodbye, Witty Entrepreneur. He is smart fucker who challenges me and my thoughts. He thinks I am maybe not as emotionally aware as I had hoped. He knows where to find me but likely will assume I don’t wish to be found when my profile goes missing.

Some of the randos though, that I didn’t really want in my constant communication‚Ķthose are gone too, and it is wonderful. Goodbye, Dickpedo. You are possibly responsible for my banned Kik profile in the first place. Goodbye, dude that sends me rose emojis and poorly translated poems without any consideration for grammar in conversation. You are gross. Goodbye, asshat that thinks I need to know every time his dick is erect. I do not care which toy you use on it, and I have told you so.

Sometimes you have to say “Goodbye” to things, even when they are of value. Room must be made to say “Hello” to new things and their true potential.

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