Numbers Game

This is where I left off, from Thought Experiment: Round 1: “Numbers game – there are WAY more men than women on sights for discreet affairs, and most female profiles are bots or scams for money.”

Growing up, I was always taught that I was in major competition for men. There are more women than men in the world. There are some men we don’t want, therefore, for the ones we do want, the competition is extreme. Keep yourself put together, but don’t be conceited. Be physical, but not a tease and not slutty. Be strong, but make sure your man is stronger. Be smart, but your opinion and thoughts are shadows to the wills of men. This sounds absurd of course, but it is very real.

In this arena, the news is very different. There are so few actual women on sites for discrete encounters outside of marriage that the power is shifted. For the first time in my life, men compete for me.

They have to accept my poly tendencies and my path to understanding that within myself. They have to accept my intelligence and my demands for emotional awareness on their part. They have to be about more than sportsball and hunting….though I accept lovers of both sportsball and hunting. They must be funny and enjoy laughing. They must be communicative. They must see and accept me.

Then it hits me. The numbers are just a game.

We must always be real, and we must always demand the things we need in order to pair meaningfully. We must stop the game cold. We must be aware, honest, and communicate who we are to others. We cannot win while playing a game.

Welcome to my awakening…It happens in stages and it is constant.

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